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It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow. When I was in elementary, I didn’t care so much about Valentine’s day. Not true. Of course I did. During that day any student from my school would need to spend a part of his/her rock-bottom allowance to MAKE red heart- /cupid-shaped paperboards to hang on corridor ceilings or on the walls of each room. If we wanted extra credit, a sprinkle of glitters would do the trick… Who wouldn’t care about those days we’d get our juvenile wealth reduced?

In college, I looked forward to Valentine’s because the season signalled the start (or end) of UP fair. Valentine’s equated to school fair which then equated to date with my good friends Maida, Joemark and Lou.

When I got a job in the radio station, Valentine’s meant a day to commemorate love in all aspects and also was a day to receive lovely text messages from the listeners which felt really really good…

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Hon said we will go to Ootoya after his work and eat a fancy meal. I am so excited. It’s not that we are making a big fuss about Valentine’s (it’s not even a holiday for us both) but hey it’s SPECIAL!

Valentine’s Day is special because every day is. Consider the saying that follows:

“Life is a gift that is why it’s called present.”

Since we believe each day is special, Hon and I agreed to be sweet every day and not engage in a fight. Possible? Sure. It’s a matter of rationality. If you come to think of it, if your partner is not doing anything wrong, what is there to fight about? Perhaps jealousy or discontentment?

Jealousy.

Women (that includes me) are born jealous in the same way we are born with menstrual period. It just depends on our level of tolerance. Jealousy, unless your partner is flirting with someone else OR worse, is unacceptable. Imagine the trouble it would cause you and your partner, from and for what? Nothing. Sometimes women are embarrassed to admit to their partners they are jealous they torture them with their mood swings. Which is so wrong.

Recently, I and my friends watched the Filipino film “A Secret Affair” which showcases the worst of relationships. So, say your partner is HAVING an affair, what will you do? Would you afflict yourself with jealousy and other hurtful emotions? Absolutely not. You do something palliative. You don’t beg your partner to stop having an affair and consider how you feel. He should know that already and shouldn’t be having an affair IN THE FIRST PLACE. You don’t plead the mistress neither to stop having an affair with your partner. That’s ridiculous! None of those would fix anything plus you don't shatter your self-esteem like that! What you should do is move on. How? Two ways: (1) If you are still on the dating stage, it simply means you move on WITHOUT your partner. He is dumb. He doesn’t deserve you nor anybody else who has self-respect. (2) If you are married, you move on WITH your partner. You settle things with him and hear how sorry he is and how he promises to CHANGE.  If he doesn't you file a divorce. Unfortunately, in the Philippines you are not allowed to divorce your partner unless it's domestic violence or adultery you're talking, you could file an annulment instead which takes a long time and a lot of money. Both ways, you continue with the everyday grind, stronger, primarily for yourself and for the sake of your family. Not easy though, but you have to try. You will need a lot of prayers and counselling from family and friends to overcome.

Discontentment.

You are not contented? Then tell your partner about it so he/ she could do something about it. If you think your boyfriend has no time for you as much as he had before, tell him. If you are not satisfied with your girlfriend’s care, ask her to care more. Tell your partner what you need and what you want. Don't expect them to be fortune tellers to read what's on your mind and immediately respond.

As I’ve learned from my boyfriend, couples should always talk about their problem directly in a logical way WITH THE OBJECTIVE TO RESOLVE whatever it is.  

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In relation to the title, don’t confuse yourself: It’s Valentine’s Day, just like what your grade school English teacher taught you eons ago.